In which all truly healthy relationships involve sleeping with other people

·                     Sep 27, 2006

In which all truly healthy relationships involve sleeping with other people

I think, in a way, a relationship which is truly healthy is one in which both people gain something concrete and positive and which would be difficult or impossible to find anywhere else, where neither person hurts the other (or at least not much and not often) and they appreciate each other. In this case, each person knows not only the others' value to them but also their own value to the other.

In this case, being comfortable in their relationship, being confident of their worth, then the partners other friendships are not a threat. While the feeling of jealousy may be inevitable, the thought of it is not and generally the two reinforce each other, like how seeing the blood somehow makes the cut hurt worse. So that it is not a matter of one relationship being "higher" or better, but, I think, in a way it is being comfortable with being in an open relationship (meaning, sexually, not emotionally or rather relationship-wise) is the best possible sign that you are ready for commitment. It is only if you trust the other person enough that you are ok (it will always feel a little uncomfortable but ok overall) with them sleeping with someone else, that you know that you are not with this person just for the sake of commitment.

People want security, and there is always the possibility for someone better coming along for one's partner - and perhaps in a way it is better to commit for its own sake, but perhaps it would be better to be with that person who is better. It's not really a question with a right answer. But if it is not a concern, certainly that is ideal and so perhaps no one who wants commitment should become committed.

Bad things happen. Relax. It will get better

·                     Sep 25, 2006

Bad things happen. Relax. It will get better

On acid, sometimes things get overwhelming, everything feels like too much, in a bad way, it's too fast, you don't understand, are confused and scared a little, maybe feel sick, physically and emotionally.

But if you have done it enough times. Even in this state of essentially insanity, you on some level can remember that
These things happen.
It has happened before - it will most likely happen again
And this time
It is temporary
It will end, and though it seems like it's been more than half of forever and you can't even remember exactly what it's like to be normal
And you can't imagine ever being normal again
You still know that it will eventually
And also
You know that there is nothing you can do to accelerate that process. You just have to wait.
It feels bad now, and it will feel bad, physically, mentally, and while you can't change that
You can focus on being calm. It is unpleasant but it is not the end of life, it is tolerable.
You accept it, remain as calm as you can in a buzzy jumpy loud colorful insanity - on one level it is impossible, but on another level there can be a kind of calm in waiting, in knowing it is temporary.

Everyone has experienced both good and bad feelings. The bad ones are like the bad parts of the drug. It has happened before. It will again. And this time it's temporary. Accept it. Calm down. Things will be better eventually.

30; Porn is not an affront to human dignity

·                     Sep 19, 2006

30; Porn is not an affront to human dignity

Not anymore than a video of people eating is

If we lived in a society which said you may never eat in public, you must never cook for someone unless you love them, it is shameful to eat alone, etc. then people would get paid big bucks to eat on camera, and single guys would watch videos of people eating.

This would not make the eating movies an affront to human dignity.

Sex is natural. It is society which is an affront to human dignity.

I saw porn when I was a child yet, amazingly, I NEVER RAPED ANYONE!

Some of it is unrealistic, which is exactly the appeal.

Its like when you watch an action movie - you don't really want to rob banks or be in high-speed chases, but its fun to live vicariously through the movie for a while.

In grand theft Auto, you kill people many times a minute, are rewarded for doing so, but when they discovered that you could download a patch to reveal a clothed soft-core, non-explicit mini-game, the rating was changed to "adults only"

Personally, I believe this is a worse reflection on society than porn.

29; My neigbor is a Republican (who lives in a tiny trailer)

o                                             

·                     Sep 18, 2006

29; My neigbor is a Republican (who lives in a tiny trailer)

He once told a story about how his teacher once hit him as punishment for misbehavior, which he felt was completely unreasonable, and which he never forgave that teacher for.  He went on to say that one of the problems with today's youth is caused by "the liberals" not allowing corporal punishment in school.
When I pointed out that hypocrisy, it was like he didn't even hear me.  He just started in on a new topic.
In fact he blamed "the liberals" for everything he thought was bad about society, which seems not to be uncommon among much of this countries population.

I can only assume that they also have a problem with vacation, weekends, overtime pay, minimum wage, health benefits, all benefits for that matter, the 40 hour work week, unemployment insurance, disability insurance, OSHA and workplace safety standards, fair hiring laws and all other anti-discrimination measures.
While we are at it, we should also eliminate all anti-trust laws and anti-monopoly measures.
Partially this is likely caused by ignorance, since these things are not issues today, it is easy to ignore the fact that they ever were. 

Think of it like this:

You are a teen. You're parents are split up. When you are with your dad, he helps you get a credit card, he tells you, "buy whatever you want".
When you are with your mom, she takes it away, she says, "you can only buy what you can afford, and you have to work for your money"

Which parent will be more popular with you right now? Your dad, of course.
But in five years, when the collection agency keeps calling and writing and occasionally showing up at your house, will you remember that you chose to listen to your dad, and learn from your mistakes, or will you think only of the present situation, without considering how you got there?

This is a simple, yet accurate, analogy of how conservative politicians get so much popular support, even though they consistently hurt the American economy.

Republicans run the government on credit.

That way, they can lower taxes, which makes them popular with an ignorant population which does not realize that getting a few hundred dollars back at the end of the year does not make up for the services they will have to eventually give up.
It allows them to keep those services while they are in office, so that nobody notices. They realize that by the time the interest payments catch up to us, they will have been term-limited out of office anyway, and no one will blame them.

Democrats, on the other hand, seem to feel some degree of social responsibility when they are in power, and enact policies which are for the good of the American people, even if they are unpopular.

Americans elected Jr., and then even after everything he did the first time, they elected him again!

But then,
Half of us believe in Genesis literally.
The Superbowl gets many times more viewers than presidential debates
Despite $3 a gallon prices, the Big 3 still make ever larger and more powerful cars and trucks (its not just SUVs, your 200HP sedan is just as wasteful) because that's still what we buy.
Hell, we don't even use the metric system.
I bet he'd win a third time, if there were no term limits

(See blog from Aug. 5th, "#8; in which I point out that Republicans are not conservative" for an indepth look at the economics)

This shows that Republicans come in two forms:

1 The super rich, ultra selfish, who don't mind destroying America as long as it makes them a larger profit,

and

2 The ultra stupid, who believe whatever they are told by the first group, and who like to imagine that they will one day be rich, and so don't dare question anything the rich do.
This second group elected Bush Jr. (twice), they buy cars twice the size they need, they sincerely care who wins the super bowl, they hate illegal immigrants and Muslims (and anyone else who they can classify as "other") and most of them believe in creationism even though we have the human genome mapped and can clone and genetic engineer.
This second group is why the country is allowed to be run on credit - they are the same people who buy on credit, make only the minimum payments, and don't see any reason the country shouldn't do the same.

28; Easy solution to being fat

·                     Sep 17, 2006

28; Easy solution to being fat

Step 1:
Sell your car. Buy a bicycle. Ride it to work, and to the store, and everywhere else you need to go. Better yet, run. Yes, you can do it. Guess what people do in countries where there are no cars? Guess what humans did before cars were invented?
Ever see a fat cave man?
What you mean is "I don't desire to be healthy if it means inconvenience!" Quit whining and either accept that you will die of a heart attack before you reach 50, or go post an ad for your car.

Step 2:
Eat less food. Throw out all the stupid "low-fat" this and "carb" that. It's all worthless junk trying to get fat people's dollars. Only eat food you personally did, (or at least could have), picked, dug up, or killed yourself, with your bare hands.  Can’t kill a wild cow with your bare hands? Don’t eat hamburgers. Eat vegetables.  Fish is OK, poultry in moderation is OK. Don’t eating crap like cakes and pies and ice cream and chips. Too difficult to give up fast food? Then you don't really want to lose weight. Stop pretending that you do. Instant gratification is clearly more important than either your appearance or your health.

I love it when people try to rationalize that fat is genetic. Right, because as we all know, Americans are genetically all the same. This explains why Americans have a greater obesity rate than any other country in the world, in all of history - it's the United Statesian Fat Gene.

Being over weight is voluntary. It results from a culture of laziness. We have more cars than drivers in this country. Every TV comes with a remote. You wouldn't want to have to get up and walk the three feet to the TV! We are a nation which watches sports on TV instead of getting up and PLAYING them.

27; Join The California Resistance

·                     Sep 16, 2006

27; Join The California Resistance

I want to stop the rest of the country from moving in.

They all know this is the best place to live, that's why they keep coming in and driving our housing prices up. But those fuckers weren't born here, I was, why the hell should my tax dollars let them drive on my roads? They need to stay the fuck in Kansas or Ohio or New York or where ever the hell they keep coming from, cause we have enough people here already.
And as if that's not bad enough, they come bringing their republican and christian bull with them.

Look, if you come from Mexico, learn the fucking language. And if you come from Florida, learn the God damn political rhetoric! This is San Fransisco! We LIKE gay people here, so shut the fuck up, or go back to Idaho! This is OUR state. If you weren't born here, get out.

If you weren't born here, you don't deserve the chance to live here and get all it's benefits.

Who's with me!

Secede from the Union!!!

26; If you suspect your spouse of cheating...

·                     Sep 15, 2006

26; If you suspect your spouse of cheating...

Here's a tip:
Don't form an intimate relationship with someone you don't trust.

If they are cheating, that's a reason to leave.
But if you think they are cheating, and they in fact aren't, then that's a reason to leave too.

So you don't have to CATCH them. Just go.

As soon as you suspect it, just go, instead of drawing it out and making a big fuss.